I’ve spent too long
standing at the edge of wanting,
with the heat in my face
consuming my willpower
to lean in closer when he does.
I have swallowed every impulse
before it could become motion—
every lingering glance,
every almost,
every yes disguised as maybe
until my whole body feels drawn tight
around what I haven’t said.
A fuse has been burning
slowly
and I am curious
what will happen
if I stop burning my fingers
trying to put it out.
Will I finally let him get close enough
to feel the heat and believe
it’s ok to stay when my body answers?
Chestnut Cowboy 